The Psychology of Us
Psychological reflections on what it means to be human
The way we understand ourselves changes when we slow down enough to listen.
The Psychology of Us is a podcast exploring the emotional undercurrents that shape how we think, relate, and live. Hosted by psychology professor RJ Starr, each episode offers a grounded, research-informed reflection on the complexities of modern life — from identity and grief to boundaries, belonging, and emotional maturity.
Eremitism: The Psychology of Solitude and the Desire to Be Alone
Solitude can heal or harm, depending on how it’s held. This episode explores eremitism—the psychological and historical practice of stepping away from society. From monks to modern hermits to digital detoxers, we explore how solitude affects the brain, why we seek it out, and what it teaches us about self-understanding in an overstimulated world.
The Roots of Anger: Why We Lose Our Cool
Anger is rarely just about the moment—it’s about history, fear, shame, and unmet needs. This episode explores the emotional roots of anger, how it functions, and why we often misread it. Learn how to recognize what your anger is actually protecting, and how to respond instead of just react.
Why People Annoy Us: The Psychology of Irritation
Why do certain people drive us up the wall? This episode unpacks the psychology of irritation—its roots in unmet needs, overstimulation, and personality clashes. Learn how to decode what your triggers are telling you, how to set healthy boundaries, and why annoyance isn’t weakness—it’s a signal worth paying attention to.
The Psychology of Values: The Hidden Compass Guiding Your Life
What really drives your decisions? It’s not your goals—it’s your values. This episode explores the psychology behind what you stand for, how values shape your life, and why internal alignment matters more than external approval. Learn how to define your values and use them as a compass for clarity, purpose, and grounded living.
Ghosting: Why People Disappear and the Psychology of Avoidance
Ghosting isn’t just rude—it’s a psychological defense. This episode explores why people vanish without explanation, how it connects to avoidance, attachment, and anxiety, and why it hurts so deeply. Learn what ghosting reveals about modern relationships, and how to move forward with clarity—whether you’ve been ghosted or you’re tempted to disappear.
The Psychology of Procrastination: Why We Put Things Off
Procrastination isn’t a time problem—it’s an emotional one. This episode explores why we delay, how avoidance protects us from discomfort, and what drives the internal conflict between action and paralysis. Learn how self-compassion, structure, and insight can interrupt the cycle and help you move forward.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Beyond the Stereotypes
OCD is more than a preference for order—it’s a cycle of fear, obsession, and compulsion that disrupts daily life. This episode breaks down the science of OCD, explores the lived experience, and challenges cultural misconceptions that fuel stigma and misunderstanding. If you've misused the term “OCD,” this one’s for you.
The Psychology of Gaslighting: Reclaim Your Reality
Gaslighting isn’t just emotional manipulation—it’s a psychological strategy that makes you doubt your own mind. This episode unpacks how gaslighting works, where it shows up, and what it does to your brain. Most importantly, it offers clear tools to help you recognize it, name it, and protect your reality from distortion.
The Psychology of Moral Panic: Fear, Backlash and Culture Wars
Why do certain trends trigger public outrage while others go unnoticed? This episode explores the psychology of moral panic—how fear overrides reason, how identity fuels backlash, and why we keep falling for the same cultural battles. Learn how to recognize panic in real time—and stop fear from controlling the conversation.
Political Theater: The Psychology of Manipulating Emotions and Shaping Society
Political theater isn’t just spectacle—it’s strategic. This episode examines how fear, identity, and emotion are manipulated through political performance. From social media to televised debates, learn how the show shapes how we think, vote, and divide—and how to stay grounded in a world of emotional manipulation.
The Psychology of Jealousy: Why We Feel Green with Envy
Jealousy is more than a passing emotion—it’s a powerful clue to what we fear, what we long for, and where we feel insecure. In this episode, we explore the psychology behind jealousy, how it shows up in relationships, social media, and ambition—and how you can transform it into a force for clarity and growth.
The Psychology of Division: Why Some Leaders Thrive on Conflict
Why do some leaders rely on conflict to stay in power? This episode explores the psychology of division—how it works, who benefits, and what it costs us. From social identity theory to the Dark Triad, we examine why division is so effective—and how to resist it.
The Impact of Social Media on Self-Esteem and Identity
Why does social media make us feel amazing one minute and invisible the next? In this episode, we unpack the psychological cost of our digital lives—exploring how scrolling, posting, and comparing shape self-esteem and identity, especially for young adults. Learn how to take back control and use these platforms with intention.
The Psychology of Dying: A Continuation, Not a Conclusion
What if death isn’t the end, but a continuation of something deeper? In this episode, we explore the psychology of dying—through science, story, and spiritual inquiry. From near-death experiences to existential theory, we uncover what the dying might actually go through, and what it teaches us about how to live.
Cultural Anxiety: Psychology of Collective Experience
This episode explores cultural anxiety as a shared psychological response to uncertainty, disconnection, and emotional overload. It’s not just individual stress—it’s a collective signal that something in the emotional environment has shifted. We unpack the causes, symptoms, and strategies for navigating the tension.
Emotional Intelligence: Navigating Your Feelings and Actions
This episode unpacks the four pillars of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and relationship management—and explores how they shape the way we respond, connect, and lead. Through research, personal stories, and practical tools, you’ll learn how to navigate your emotions with clarity and strengthen your relationships with intention.
Unpacking Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Inner World
This episode explores the psychology of self-awareness—why it matters, why it’s often so elusive, and how to strengthen it. Through research, personal stories, and real-world tools, we examine what it means to truly understand yourself and how that clarity can change the way you lead, connect, and grow. Whether you’re seeking insight or alignment, this conversation offers a grounded place to begin.